You Only Fall in Love Three Times by Kate Rose

Author:Kate Rose
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2020-01-13T16:00:00+00:00

THE FIVE FOUNDATIONS

When I first asked my client Sam about what a healthy relationship meant to her, she stated that she needed quality time and transparency, meaning that whatever man she was with wouldn’t be texting other women behind her back. Nina said that it was important to her to communicate a lot within a relationship and to feel that the man she was with was putting in effort.

While these are valid feelings, they reflect core needs more than just the overall definition of a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship needs to have several factors in order to be able to function in a way that best serves both individual partners. When I’m working with clients, I compare building a relationship to building a house. While everyone’s all excited to paint and decorate a finished house, no one actually wants to go and build the foundation and the basement. As in building a house, the basement represents the foundation of a relationship, the part that is responsible for holding up that house that we love so much. If the foundation of a home is shoddy, cracked, or not aligned, then the house will fall—and the same is true for any relationship.

I have developed what I call the Five Foundations—a collection of tools you can use to build that strong foundation, just like we’d need for a home. I suggest implementing them during the interview phase of a new relationship. They are: communication, honesty, accountability, respect, and forgiveness.

During the interview phase, we are just beginning to know each other, a period when we as women often give away all our power and think “Oh will he like me?” or “Will he want to go out with me again?” instead of stopping and thinking about whether this human is even someone we want in our life as a friend, let alone as a lover.

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